The Beagley's

Christmas 2011

2012-01-27T16:31:00.002-07:00

I finally found my card with my christmas photos on it. I unfortunately don't have very many. I got sick Christmas morning and all my fun plans for pictures went out the window. I got a couple christmas day on my phone but they didn't really work out too great. Oh well, at least my wonderful husband took care of me that day and took me along with him so I have the memory :)

Ryker and I had a fun day the week of Christmas and made this box. It was great fun. Isn't he the cutest :)

This is what I got of Christmas, it was the night before at my moms a couple hours before the bug hit me.

Ryker Loves So Much

2012-01-25T21:08:00.002-07:00

For awhile there Ryker was having a really hard time whenever Kenzie had to go home. She would leave and he'd be gloomy and we'd ask what was wrong and he would be glum and say his heart was broke cuz Kenzie left. I'd try cheering him up and sometimes he'd even cry. It would break my heart to see it. One time I told him it was his brain making him sad and if he could think of something that made him happy that may make him feel better. He told me that Judah made him happy. He is such a sweet boy.

One day we were driving in the car somewhere and out of the blue he starts up this conversation:

Ryker: My heart doesn't brake when Kenzie leaves anymore Mom

Me: It was pretty hard for you for awhile there

Ryker: My brain made it hard

Me: Wow, you are right

Ryker: My brain got it sorted out.

He's so smart. I was floored.

Judah 5 Months

2012-01-20T16:35:00.003-07:00

I just couldn't resist it. He has been grabbing his feet for a couple weeks now and I LOVE it so I had to get some pictures of it. I just love this boy :) Isn't he handsome?!?! Oh and I'm so happy he finally smiled for the camera. It was pretty hard still because he is so intrigued by the camera and lights. He'll laugh all day long until I get a camera in his face.

Love My Boys and Kenz of Course :)

2011-12-06T21:00:00.005-07:00

I was just trying to put Judah down for bed and he was struggling to stay asleep. I was getting frustrated and needing some help when I remembered a year and a half ago when I held my miscarried baby in my hands, then I felt Judah in my arms and felt whole. It was a blessing to have that memory remind me how blessed I am to have these two beautiful miracles in my life.

I know, pretty scary face, but I had to put it up here because I LOVE the face Ryker has. He could see my face on my phone and was cracking up. I'm so happy I can make him laugh like that. As you can see, Judah doesn't get my weird side yet. I sure hope he thinks I'm as funny as Ryker does :)

Judah 3 months

2011-11-22T14:07:00.003-07:00

I can't believe my baby is 3 months old. Crazy. I tried getting pictures of him smiling but the camera distracts him too much. He actually smiles a lot, just not for the camera. Enjoy!

Smiles and Loves

2011-11-08T10:04:00.003-07:00

Just want to show you his new little squeals.

I LOVE it :) He is almost laughing... Can't wait!

Smile

2011-10-31T15:01:00.001-07:00

This is from my phone and it has to be a small file to send it to my email so that is why it's so short, but I think its short and sweet :)

More Judah and Ryker

2011-10-31T13:36:00.003-07:00

Here are a few more pictues. I love this one. He's my cute lil smile bug. This isn't quite his smile, but definitely happy boy :)

Ryker fascinates him. Its fun for me to have Ryker to entertain Judah. Yesterday Ryker pretended to be a dog for a good half hour and Judah and I played fetch with him. Ryker still can't wait for Judah to like transformers.

Ryker gets a little jealous of Judah sometimes so he likes to pretend to be a baby. Sometimes its cute, sometimes not so much.

This is a very common look for Judah when we are watching Brother. He is trying to find him. Its hard for him sometimes because Ryker is ALL over the place.

Aren't they cute :)

This is his crooked smile like his mom.

Grandma Hatch

2011-10-31T11:11:00.003-07:00

We had a free Wendover trip for Brandon's birthday. Did his birthday slot tourney but didn't place this year. We took both the kids since I wouldn't be able to go into the casino's anyway. It was pretty fun. Brandon spent most of the time with us. We hung out in our room, went for walks and went swimming.

I haven't seen my Grandma Hatch for way too long so we decided to stop by and see her on the way back from Wendover. She seems to be doing well. It was good to see her and give her a hug and let her meet her new grandson.

Here are a few misc picture so my Dad and Mom in Oregon. We sure hope you come here so you can hold Judah and give him kisses :)

Most recent picture of Judah. He is getting SO big. I just can't believe how fast they grow. Pretty soon he'll be as big as Ryker and I'll wonder where all the time went :) I'll try to capture him smiling soon. He actually smiles alot, but couldn't get him to here of course.

Stitches

2011-10-13T20:32:00.002-07:00

Ryker learned why mommy and daddy asked him not to go up the slides today. He was pretty freaked out after it happened from the blood and probably from mommy freaking out. I knew right away we'd be going to get stitches. He was really scared when I told him he'd be going to the doctors. Brandon had a really good talk on the way to the hospital that I guess set his mind at ease. Ryker was SO brave at the doctors. 6 stitches on his chin. It's going to be a matching scar to his daddies chin scar. Brandon got his around the same age jumping from the toilet to the bathtub with wet feet.

Ryker told me he was never going on that slide EVER again. I told him if he would have gone down instead of up the slide this most likely wouldn't have happened. He let me know that he will make sure Brother knows how to go on the slide the right way when he grows up. I'm happy he will be helping us out with Judah.

Big Brother

2011-10-01T09:42:00.002-07:00

Ryker and his brother. Up until yesterday I thought Ryker didn't want anything to do with Judah, I was wrong. Ryker had been waiting for me to offer him up. I'm so happy Ryker finally told me because its going to be a nice option for when I need to get a few things done. Yesterday Ryker offered to hold him so that i could make some eggs. Judah sarted to cry half way through and I ran over to rescue Ryker and he says "Mom, its okay if he cries, go make the eggs" and somehow he got Judah to sleep. What a great big brother Judah has.

Girls Trip to St. George

2011-09-26T13:27:00.004-07:00

My mom has a friend that let us stay at their extra home they own in St. George. We all thought when we got invited we were staying in a condo with a pool we share with the community, but no, we stayed in a REALLY nice house that had it's own pool with a slide, diving board and hot tub. I know, spoiled :) We had a great time. My sisters and I needed this get away. It was so fun to relax with my family and of course watch the entertaining Mayhew sisters. My mom and her sisters are hilarious when they get together. I only hope my sisters and I can be that fun to watch when our kids get old enough to appreciate it, you know after the embarrassment wears off. I only wish I would have thought to get out my video camera when we played family feud so that you could get an idea of what I mean, oh well ... next time.

Us

2011-09-12T14:14:00.004-07:00

Judah and Daddy. Brandon was lookin too good, just had to get some pictures.

I know what you are thinking... who took these amazing pictures of you DeLynn.... My beautiful assistant Kenzie too these pictures. I was wonderfully surprised when I looked at them on the computer. Looks like I need to start working with her on some photography skills, she's a natural :)

Just LOVE this one :)

I've been waiting for awhile to take some pictures of Kenzie with Judah. LOVE this top one, couldn't ever recreate something that special! Photographer and model :)

Judah Announcement

2011-09-07T12:23:00.001-07:00

Judah Clayne Beagley

2011-08-20T11:56:00.008-07:00

I had a blast taking these pictures. I took about 400 pictures, narrowed it down to 60 favorites and now have given you an even smaller selection of my favorites. I know that 60 pictures may have been a little too much :) I had my lighting equipment set up for 2 days and just kept taking little breaks during the day with his different moods. Ryker was so cute coming in every once and a while for a cute pose that he came up with. What have I created? :) It was fun to have him want to be involved. Anyway, I think he is SO cute and don't want to take down my lighting equipment. Probably going to do some pictures today or tomorrow with Kenzie and Judah. Hope you enjoy :)

Happy Anniversary!!!

2011-08-02T07:15:00.005-07:00

This was the first day we met. I don't remember the actual day it was, but it was about the fall of 1999. We met through our friend Shara, the one taking the picture. Her and I thought it would be funny to tell Brandon I knew how to cut hair, I didn't at the time, and he believed us :) It actually turned out okay. Anyway, I just love that we have a picture of us together the first day that we met.

Brandon and I with our Rainbow on our wedding day. August 2, 2003. I found this and think it fits Brandon and I perfect.... Throughout human history rainbows have been a symbol of hope. The storm is passing. The sun will shine again. We dream. If we follow our dreams, like the rainbow, and we will find that pot of gold hidden in the light.

I know it is corny, but Brandon is my pot of Gold.

This is us on our honeymoon :)

2004, Trip to Oregon with little Kenzie.

2005. Our trip to Vegas with our friends. I know, I couldn't find another picture for 2005 and Brandon looks pissed in this picture. Well, it hasn't been perfect all these 8 years. :)

2006. This was our exciting cruise that ended up doing figure 8s in the Gulf of Mexico for 6 days. Never got to port, but we still had a good time.

2007 brought us a beautiful little boy, Ryker. What a great year :)

This is still 2007, just love this picture because this is US.

Totally US. Brandon is sweet and I love it!

2008. This is us in Colorado. We went to a 9 inch Nails concert with some friends.

2009. Us in Oregon. Oregon is a place we try to visit every year. We love it there.

2010. I love this picture. We look so grown up.

2011. Waiting for this new little one to come to us. This year has shown us so much about ourselves, how strong we are together with God. I'm so grateful I chose a man that faces the storms with me and loves me through them. God has really blessed Brandon and I. I am so excited to see what comes next. I love you Brandon. You are my best friend. Thank you!

Blessingway

2011-07-28T11:32:00.004-07:00

What is a Blessingway?
Blessingway ceremonies create a sacred and safe environment where a mother-to-be can explore the challenges and joys that lie before her as she approaches birthing and mothering. Surrounded by the most important women in her life, she gains a sense of power, confidence, and support that will help her rise to motherhood and her journey through labor.

Birth is a key life passage for women.The blessingway ceremony helps a woman to prepare mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for the work of birthing, and it opens her to her instinctive abilities, which will guide her as she steps into the role of mother.

My Beautiful friend Rachel, along with my help drumming, sang 4 beautiful Native American Prayer songs at the beginning. She will be singing these songs at my birth as a welcome to my little one. Brandon and I also listen to and sing these songs and the baby will be very familiar with them when it comes.

This was a beautiful experience for me. More than half of the women that came had never been to a Blessingway before. I have only been to one before and loved how much love and support this other woman was shown and knew this would be something I would want before my birth. Every Blessingway is different, I chose to take the belly cast from my pregnancy with Ryker and have the women paint a prayer on it for this baby. Beautiful paintings and beautiful prayers. The women also brought a spiritual gift like a poem, charm, stone or oils for me to have on an altar while I'm in labor. Each of these gifts had a special meaning which they all shared with me.

I had been wondering what else to do at the blessingway for a long time so I prayed about it and one morning I woke up and saw this flower pot in my head. So I made it. Everyone that was there chose one and put words on the back asking for a blessing for the baby and for me for the birth and the babies life. There are some beautiful words, this baby is so blessed to already have so many people love it.

We ended by sitting in a circle holding hands and people gave me kind words or prayed for me and my friends Katrina, who put it all together for me, tied us all together with string, connecting all of our prayers and is going to burn the string after I have the baby.

I'm very grateful for the love and support of so many people in my life. I know that the women that attended are only a small percentage of the support I have with all of my loved ones. Thank you everyone for all of your support, love, and especially prayers throughout this pregnancy.

Prego Pictures!

2011-07-13T08:53:00.010-07:00

Carnival

2011-07-08T13:50:00.002-07:00

We took Ryker to the American Fork carnival last night. SO fun, for Ryker and Daddy. I just got to watch :) Ryker had a blast. We went early and then Sister and her mom's family came to meet us later on. Brandon got him to go on some big people rides that he was big enough to go on with an adult. I couldn't believe how brave he was. His favorite was the Magic Carpet ride, went on that I think 5 times, then the Gravitron 3 times (no pictures, but spins and spins and spins in a spaceship), then the trucks. The others weren't quite exciting enough for him. Poor daddy had to go on the Gravitron 3 times, his stomach barely made it through only because he made Ryker wait 40 min in between each time. All in all, it was a great night :)

(Magic Carpet)

By the time Sister came he got brave enough to occasionally put his hands up. Daddy had to hold onto him though because he would slide back and forth in the seat.

Me Prego

2011-07-03T17:09:00.001-07:00

This is for my dad and mom in Oregon. Love you guys!

Ryker's Birthday Party

2011-06-02T19:38:00.002-07:00

Ryker's birthday party was really fun. We went to Classic Skating in Salt Lake and Ryker played on the bouncy stuff and in the Jungle playhouse. He played and played and played.

Ryker LOVES transformers so I got him some masks and decorated his cupcakes in a transformers theme. He loved it. He thanks me a bunch for making the cupcakes. I'll put more pictures up when I figure out how to get the pictures from my little camera to the computer. I took these on my phone.

Do you think Ryker loves his sister Kenzie? Maybe a little too much :)

Ryker birthday!

2011-05-29T13:00:00.002-07:00

Ryker is turning 4 this next week. JUNE 1st :) He's getting so big and has grown up a ton lately. He helps mommy all the time and is so sweet. He's our Best Friend! We love you Ryker!

Ryker and Canyon

2011-05-24T09:09:00.003-07:00

Yesterday Ryker told me Canyon is really cool because he can climb the tree, so I told him he should try it. This is as high as he dared go, but I'm proud of him. My dad's not afraid of heights and passed that down to me so I'd be at the top of that tree if I could. I'll give Ryker some time :)

This is Ryker's friend Canyon. They have been hanging out for the past year. They are a year and a half apart in age and it was hard at first for Canyon with that age difference, but now that Ryker is getting older it is getting better and better. Yesterday they played and played and played with no fights, SO wonderful. It's so good for Ryker since he's an only child and doesn't really get to play with kids often.

Krishna Festival of Color

2011-03-27T19:41:00.004-07:00

Brandon and I went to the Festival of Colors at the Krishna Temple Saturday with our friends Chris and Katrina. We had a lot of fun. Used to be a lot of College kids going, seemed like a lot of High school kids this time, Brandon wonders if that is just because we are getting older so College looks like High school to us. He's probably right. Oh well, it was fun pretending we were high school kids.

Karate

2011-03-15T09:43:00.002-07:00

Brandon goes to Karate, Kempo, occasionally with the Jones' and Ryker goes crazy for about an hour waiting for his turn. I can see why he goes crazy, can you imagine how much fun this must be for him :)

Ryker Growing up :)

2011-02-20T23:03:00.007-07:00

I saw a picture of Ryker from a year ago today and couldn't believe how old he looks now. I started looking through old pictures and thought I'd put some pictures in order to show how mush he's grown. The first picture was taken the first week he was born and the last one was taken bout a month ago. SO CRAZY. Love this boy, at every stage :)

Ryker's New Dance

2011-02-08T15:53:00.001-07:00

Never seen this one before. He's pretty creative, I think :) Sorry it's so short, it's from my phone and has to be short to send to email.

Snow Day

2011-01-25T14:04:00.003-07:00

Ryker requested daddy make a dinosaur out of snow. OF COURSE daddy said YES! Daddy did a wonderful job, I think!

We got in the house and Ryker says, " Mom, what a great day." That's all it takes for a great day, playing in the snow with mom and daddy :)

Ryker's Hair cut

2010-12-04T18:44:00.002-07:00

A couple weeks ago I was cutting Ryker's bangs so they would be out of his face and I was in the middle of doing it and he says, "mommy, not like yours..." He was terrified that i was cutting his bangs to look like mine.

So a couple of days ago I was wondering what Ryker would look like with his hair cut short. I admit, I had to kinda trick him into it so I told him he'd look like Daddy if I cut his hair short. I get done with it and have him look in the mirror and he says, "not like Daniels" (his little friend with really short hair) I styled it and showed him how it looked like Daddies. He was really happy later when Dad saw it and liked it, but the next morning he says " mom, I want my hair like yours again." At least he knows what he wants. Guess we know what he looks like with short hair. I think he's adorable both ways :)

Christa

2010-10-21T22:26:00.003-07:00

I have a beautiful friend Christa that has amazing courage and strength. She voices her experience of life at Discovering My Truth. I love what she has to say, only wish I were as courageous to speak my truth. I love you my sweet Christa :) We are on the same path Sister. I love you! I honor you!

Sister

2010-10-19T11:19:00.003-07:00

To My Beautiful Sister JoAnna

When you passed away a year ago I felt lost. I am in a place in my life where many things are changing for me. When you came into my life as a child I was also in a place in my life where many things were changing, both times I am so grateful for. I want to share my feelings about both experiences here with everyone.

I will start with when we were children. If I look back at the best memory of you and I, you are an angel. There is a song I was listening to after you passed away that will be most helpful to descibe this, I was riding in my car and it came on and I know you were there with me showing me what you had to teach me. The song is called Ribbon’s Undone, by Tori Amos.

She's a girl

Rising from a shell

Running to spring

It is her time it is her time

Watch her run with ribbons undone

She's a rose in a lily's cloak

She can hide her charms

It is her right there will be time

To chase the sun with ribbons undone

She runs like a fire does

Just picking up daises

Comes in for a landing

A pure flash of lightening

Past alice blue blossoms

You follow her laughter

And then she'll surprise you

Arms filled with lavender

Yes my little pony is growing up fast

She corrects me and says

"You mean a thoroughbred"

A look in her eyes says the battle's beginning

From school she comes home and cries

I don't want to grow up Mom at last not tonight

You're a girl

Rising from a shell

Running through spring

With summer's hand in reach now

It is your time

So just run with ribbons undone

It is your time yes my angel

It is your time

So just run with ribbons undone

Run run darlin'

Ribbons undone

You see, my favorite memory I have of us is running in a field pretending we are horses catching butterflies. It seems like a fairy tale to even think of it. You gave me a gift running through fields with me. JoAnna, you taught me what freedom feels like.

When you touched my heart the day that I heard this song our memory stuck in my heart and now whenever I am having a hard time and I feel like I can’t go on I think of you and we are running in a field of flowers catching butterflies with our ribbons undone. Thank you for listening to my prayers and helping me along this path of Love you are teaching me about.

I love you my Sweet Sister.

Love,

DeLynn

Me

2010-08-04T22:06:00.003-07:00

About 5 years ago Brandon and I were laying under the stars up in the mountains and talking about how we could both see that one day we would have to let go of everything so we could gain something that we really didn’t understand at the time. We saw it happening but had no idea how, when or if we really could do it.

Two and a half years ago our marriage was coming to an end. We had given all we could to the relationship up to that point and it wasn’t working out for us. Brandon was brave and expressed to me that he thought we were done unless we could find something or someone who could help us. I was against going to a counselor because of a bad experience I had had before and felt like it was hopeless for us.

About a week later I was told about a group of people getting together and being helped by a medicine man. I went to this healing circle the next week and Brandon and I have been on an amazing journey ever since. I have been attending this healing circle weekly ever since. I have had a true transformation of spirit and am so grateful I was led to this fulfilling path.

I was very lost, but through walking the Red Path to the Creator I have gained a relationship with Jesus Christ through repentance and forgiveness. I have received a relationship with my Divine Mother through mercy, love and acceptance. I have gained a relationship with Heavenly Father through faith and letting go.

These blessings didn’t come easy to me. The first year and a half on this path I had to look deeply into myself. I found first that it is a lot easier to look at your spouse and point fingers than to see your own part in the struggle of the relationship. The main goal of the Red Path is for a couple to become One through Jesus Christ and to do this you can’t blame, you have to take responsibility and in turn it shines the light on your partner to show them their part in it as well.

I decided on my own that I needed to take a Vow of Silence and it was at this point that things really shifted for me in my relationship with Brandon. I was forced to see that without my defenses and my negative comments towards my husband we were both much happier and I saw clearly I did not want to continue having that negative interaction with Brandon anymore. It was and still is at times a very hard thing to change; I have to be constantly aware of my words and how they affect other people around me.

There are many roadblocks I am carrying in my spirit from my childhood and every week something would come up for me to see and the healing circle would then help me to repent and come unto Jesus Christ. What I am repenting of is all the lies I believe about myself that hold me back from being One with Brandon and Jesus.

About a year ago Brandon and I had a very Spiritual experience and our lives have been an adventure ever since. We were shown how beautiful and strong our relationship, our Oneness, is with each other underneath all the lies we believe. We decided on that day that we were truly ready to be One with each other through Jesus Christ.

Soon after this beautiful experience and the commitment we made Brandon lost his job. Our whole marriage, before this point, I had only experienced fear when it came to money and when he lost his job I felt assured that through Faith we would be taken care of. It was time for us to start letting go. We were both working hard towards a life and marriage we thought we were supposed to have, the perfect marriage with a house, two cars, etc you know the story and were realizing that we had to really get down to what we really want for us, not what we thought everyone else would approve of us having.

We had many miracles happen soon after this where it was as if money was falling from the sky to us. Brandon was going from working 40 to 60 hour work weeks to being home with Ryker and I practically all the time. Ryker and I were in heaven. It was really a blessing to Ryker, he is a daddies boy and it brought joy to him to have his daddy home with him.

We were doing really well in the Faith for a few months and things were really coming to us in miracles and we were so excited. When my beautiful sister JoAnna and her sweet daughter Kayla died in a car accident my faith in my future left me. I spent the next couple months avoiding my feelings about my sister by concentrating on how little money we had and how we were bound to lose it all.

Christmas came and it was getting harder for us to pay our bills and we quickly found ourselves in a really hard place. We received notice the end of January that we would be evicted February 5^th and we were really blessed with another spiritual experience this time in a Native American Sweat Lodge Ceremony. I gained some closure with my sister JoAnna and was told my faith would return and that we were going to be taken care of.

Many of our friends offered us help and we had beds to sleep in for the next 6 weeks. It was a very fun and interesting time for us to be living out of suitcases and being taken care of by our friends. We got rid of a lot of our stuff and put the rest in a storage unit. I had to decide every day that Brandon, Ryker and MacKenzie were enough for me. It was very hard but everyday that I decided this I became stronger in my faith and my relationship with my little family grew deeper. We feel really grateful for all the friends we have that reached out to us through this really hard time.

We moved into a place with a friend of ours but soon realized it wasn’t a good place for us to live and had to find a new place fast. We were blessed to have my brother Rick and our friends Matt and Laura offer a place for us to live. We had lived with our friends Matt and Laura before and knew it would be an easier transition for Ryker. We also knew that we could live there for a long period of time and felt some stability in that fact. Thank you Matt and Laura for taking us in as family and loving us so much!

The week we moved into the Jones’ home I found out I was pregnant. We had been trying to get pregnant for almost two years and felt so blessed to have a little one on the way. Our finances were still lacking, but little miracles were still happening and showing me I was not alone. I was learning how to really pray and have a relationship with God. I had many experiences where I felt my sister JoAnna helping me on the other side through my struggles and my spiritual manifestations were strong and increasing my Faith.

When you start losing things you thought you could never live without you start getting a sense of true gratitude deep in your heart. My pregnancy brought many beautiful gifts. I felt a closeness with Ryker I had struggled with before, parts of our relationship were being healed. Brandon and his father came together in new and wonderful way, and I was getting a new sense of Forgiveness I had never understood before.

At 11 weeks I was showing signs of losing the baby. Brandon and I were very sad but had clarity enough to know to pray together and we decided to pray for the gift of acceptance. What a wonderful gift acceptance is. Through this gift we were able to see the good and the gifts in losing our child.

A month before I got pregnant with this child I had a spiritual experience where I spoke with a future child of mine and he prepared me for this moment. I hadn’t quite understood it until it was happening for real but I had been told I would lose this baby and he told me his name was Christian Clayne Beagley. He was named after Brandon’s father because he was coming to earth to bring Brandon and his father together which is a beautiful gift that came true while I was pregnant with him.

Through prayer Brandon and I made it through this hard time and became strong. We had seen a choice we could make to either become stronger from this experience or grow apart and we were blessed to be clear enough to make that choice to become strong. The experience I had of the process of losing the baby was very spiritual and I felt empowered knowing I had made it through by relying on Jesus Christ.

There are so many more things that have happened in the span of these past few years that I could probably write a book, but I thought I would share with my loved ones the highlights of these years so that you may all have a better understanding of where I am physically, emotionally and mostly spiritually.

Before I found this path I was lost Spiritually. I had gotten to a point where I questioned everything I grew up believing and was left with nothing but anger and hatred. I’m so grateful I was led in a direction that I could mend these beliefs and grow strong in Faith, Love, Understanding, Compassion and have a relationship with Spirit. I am becoming whole and finding Joy in my life.

I LOVE. I love more than I ever knew possible. I feel loved. I feel God’s love and when I am feeling God’s love there is nothing lacking for me no matter how little I have physically. The more I repent and forgive, the closer my relationship is with God and everyone I love. It is so beautiful. I’ve attempted to put down in words what I have received, but the happiness, joy and love I have experienced have no words, only a smile and a warmness in my heart.

Thank you Divine Mother for your mercy, forgiveness and love. Thank you Father for your forgiveness, inspiration and Grace. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice, truth, healing and Love. Thank you ancestors and angels for helping me everyday. Thank you Brandon for choosing me everyday and showing me how to be a better me. Thank you Red Path and Red Path Family for giving me all these wonderful gifts. Thank you parents for giving me the gift of Life and thank you for doing your best. Thank you Ryker and Kenzie for teaching me and helping me heal. Thank you family and friends for loving me where you can. Thank you strangers for coming here to learn with me.

I love you all through Jesus Christ.

Love,

DeLynn Beagley

3 year old Pictures

2010-05-22T21:51:00.001-07:00

My little boy is Growing up!

2010-05-22T21:39:00.000-07:00

Family Pictures

2010-04-27T20:43:00.002-07:00

All the Beagley's were in town so we got together for some family pictures.

I love this picture of Brandon and I. Thank you Syd for thinking of taking it for us :)

Thank you girls for being so great, we tricked Ryker into this picture. We chased him all over the park and this was the best we got. I think it's pretty cute :)

stuff

2010-02-18T11:35:00.002-07:00

Our friend just got this snake. The first time Ryker saw it he didn't know what to think and didn't really want to even touch it. Now look, he's so brave.

Poor Ryker, we don't even have room for a bed. He has to sleep on this little chair. Ha Ha Ha!!! He thought he was funny putting a pillow on this chair and curling up on it. What a silly monkey :)

Oregon2010

2010-02-10T19:43:00.003-07:00

We took a trip out to Oregon a couple weeks after Christmas this year. Brandon lost his job a few months ago and we had been doing pretty well with side jobs and such, but after my sister JoAnna died everything seemed to be going down hill. My dad and mom (Linda) had told us a story once of when they were in a similar situation as ours and had decided to take a vacation to take their minds off of the problem and be able to start feeling better, they said it was the best thing they could have done. Brandon got me tickets to fly out to Oregon for my Christmas present and boy did we need it :) He is always so thoughtful, I'm so lucky to have such a loving husband. Thank you Brandon!!!

This was only my second time being to Oregon in the winter time in 11 years. Last time we went in the winter the weather was great and we had a blast looking for agates on the beach. This week we went out and it was storm after storm. 75 mile an hour gust of wind, high tides and HUGE waves. We didn't get to spend time on the beach this time, but I've always wanted to see the storms and I definitely got my wish :) It was amazing. The power of that Ocean is incredible and I just loved falling asleep to the roaring every night. This was the first trip that we visited the Sea Lion Caves. Sea lions had migrated up to Oregon from California and so there were round 600 sea lions just in this one cave. I guess it is unusual and hit national news. Ryker loved it. It was so loud in their from their barking. I had fun taking pictures of the Huge waves crashing into the cave. The sea lions are fun to watch, very territorial. They push each other and fight for their positions on the high spots.

Ryker had a blast spending so much time with his daddy. He couldn't get enough. I loved watching him loving him up :)

Ryker Loved ping pong. It was more like us fetching the ball and Ryker thinking that was hillarious. Good thing we all took turns playing this game or I might have gone crazy. Grandpa started it :)

Ryker's Song

2009-12-12T11:03:00.002-07:00

Ryker handed me a fake microphone the other day and told me to sing Ryker's song. So I started singing and this is the song that came out:

Ryker I love you

You are so kind

Always so thoughtful

Reading my mind

Coming to love me

Bringing me joy

You are my sunshine

My little boy

Ryker, I love you

Ryker, I do

Thank you Dear Spirit

For giving me you

Ryker, I love you

It's True

So now about once a day he'll find that microphone and has me sing him Ryker's song. He loves to be loved :) What a beautiful little boy!

SNOW

2009-12-08T11:11:00.002-07:00

Took Ryker out in the Snow this morning. Brandon and I got so excited last year for Ryker to be walking and be able to go out in the snow and have fun, but he HATED the snow. It was a very long and boring winter. Looks like Ryker likes it this year :) I took him in our parking lot in the sled and dragged him around for a bit. So nice to be able to get outside, even if it is COLD. I love seeing little kids in snow gear, we bundle them up so much they can hardly move.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

2009-11-06T14:41:00.004-07:00

Happy Halloween!

So, I bought Ryker a Dragon costume and his Grandma Glo bought him a Buzz Lightyear costume and he refused to wear either one. Oh well, he went trick or treating anyway and people told me "he must be 2". I get that statement a lot with Ryker so he must be ALL 2!

Friday Kenzie's school had a Halloween parade and I went with Ryker and Glo. Ryker doesn't get to see Kenzie enough so he latched onto her and ended up walking with her during her

parade and then sat down with her when they sang Halloween songs in the lunch room. I'm so happy Kenzie loves Ryker and lets him love her. They are so sweet :)

This is Kaiya. She walked up to us and Sarah started taking pictures of her and I was thinking, Sarah, why are you taking a picture of this random girl?! Then I realized it was Kaiya. I couldn't believe it was her. Great Costume Kaiya!!!

All the girls wanted to hold Ryker and he wouldn't let them. ONLY SISTER!!!

You look great Kenzie! Nice costume Ryker :)

We went trick or treating with the Bennett's and Lance and Jessica's family. The girls and Kobe had a blast together. They ran from door to door as fast as they could. Brandon and I mistakenly let Ryker eat candy after candy after candy. When we finally went home at 1 that night Ryker was done and cried and screamed and cried and screamed for a LONG time. It was awful. We know now why we don't let him eat candy in the first place. We thought we'd never get our sweet Ryker back. Of course he was back to normal the next night and we were VERY relieved :)

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!!!

2009-10-24T00:56:00.002-07:00

Brandon and I took a much needed trip out to Wendover this week. Brandon got two free nights for his birthday and a free entry into a Slot tourney for all the October birthdays. We had so much fun together, dancing, screaming, telling the machines what we wanted, rubbing the machine giving it good energy and it all paid off. We won 1st place in the tourney and brought home $2500 :) It was so amazing! We are so blessed. Thank you God for paying next months bills so we don't have to worry! I love you all!!!!

pumpkins

2009-10-18T19:34:00.004-07:00

Brandon and Kenzie painted and carved pumpkins this weekend. They had a lot of fun :) We found out that Brandon is pretty good at painting. Sorry no picture of Kenzie with her pumpkin. We were waiting for her paint to dry and then forgot before she left.

Kenzie's Vampire pumpkin!

New Art

2009-10-13T22:09:00.003-07:00

Tree of Life

Red Path

The woman was drawn by hand with Oil Pastels and the rest was created from brushes and textures in Photoshop.

One Love

2009-09-30T20:14:00.001-07:00

Once there was a man, and he lived to sing the lions song
As he traveled on road of hope
One Love is the light, shining over every mountain top
It will lead us to the higher ground
One day every heart will beat strong against the night
Let it be done right now
Once there was a man, and his words became a song of love
And his song became the golden dream
One Love is the light, shining over everyone that believes
It will lead us to the higher ground
One day every eye will see truth before the light
Let it be done right now

Some wait, so long
Because our love is strong
This hard road traveled on
Will lead us home, forever

Hear the lion's song, voices cryin' like a desert wind
Yeh he's gone unto his father's land
Afrika tonight, for we truly are one in our hearts
Colors woven in the golden dream

One day every eye will see truth before the light
Let it be done right now
One day every voice will speak strong against the night
Let us be one right now
So let it be

We are the children of a thousand days
We are the people of the hard rain
We are the children of a thousand days
We are the people of the hard rain
We are the people of the hard rain

(Pat Benatar)

Naked Terrorist

2009-09-20T09:57:00.002-07:00

We went to the state fair yesterday with Glo and Missy. It was fun, exhausting and expensive.

We couldn't help but buy stuff, which isn't us at all. Ryker fell in love with this gun so Daddy had to get it for him. He walked out of the park shooting his machine gun in a shirt, underwear and sandals. People were getting a kick out of it. To me he looks like a Terrorist. SCARY......

Ryker Playing Air Hockey

2009-09-19T11:29:00.002-07:00

Ryker playing Air Hockey at Grannie Annie's. Pretty good for his first time :)

This Moment

2009-09-17T08:24:00.004-07:00

"How do you know this is the experience you need?

Because this is the experience you are having at this moment."

from book "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle

Wouldn't that be nice if we could really understand what that means. We could be learning and taking responsibility every moment of everyday. Instead of waiting for the next experience, praying for the next experience, we could take each one as they come and really get all we can out of it knowing that is why we are having the experience now, because this is the experience we need NOW, that is why it is happening NOW.

Thank you for sending me this message NOW, I am in need of it!

Love you all!

DeLynn

2009-09-03T13:46:00.000-07:00

Given To

2009-08-29T09:21:00.002-07:00

Someone very special to me told me recently that one of her secrets to being happy is surrounding herself with people that are both giving and receiving, which she is also. She has wonderful people close to her, all she works on is giving, giving, giving and she knows that she will be taken care of by their giving also. It works in a circle, unlike of many relationships which are mostly one sided and one person feels used, this works continual without much effort and worry. You give, knowing your needs will be met also. It sounds too good to be true, I KNOW. I've been working on this with Brandon and it has been amazing. It is a true test of Faith. Giving without expectations is hard but I'm finding that it is the most rewarding :) Without expectations you are able to recognize the little things and be grateful for them. Expectations create limitations on our Happiness. Thank you Special Person for teaching me this wonderful lesson! Here is a song that goes along with this thought. I got it out of the book, "Nonviolent Communication"

Given To

I never feel more given to

than when you take from me -

when you understand the joy I feel

giving to you.

And you know my giving isn't done

to put you in my debt,

but because I want to live the love

I feel for you.

To receive with grace

may be the greatest giving.

There's no way I can separate

the two.

When you give to me,

I give you my receiving.

When you take from me, I feel so

given to.

Ruth Berbermeyer

2009-08-28T13:03:00.003-07:00

DEATH IS ONLY A SHADOW OF LIFE

I was searching on the internet, which I do all the time, and came across a native american website and it compared death to a shadow and it struck me beautiful. I wanted to share.

Ryker and Daniel

2009-08-27T14:23:00.003-07:00

My friend Christa asked me to watch her son Daniel for a bit today and I just had to take pictures because Ryker had so much fun with him. Ryker has a hard time sharing and this was one of the first times I've seen him let go and have some fun! They both LOVE trucks! I'm so excited for Ryker to have a little friend his age, they are only a week apart.

We watched movies with trucks.....

Then we had watermelon pop-cycles.........

Then we jumped on the tramp (thanks Jones' for the tramp!)

It was so cute to watch them jump on the tramp because it was so small. I'm surprised they didn't ever fall off. Everything Ryker did Daniel copied.

Thanks boys for a great day!

Ryker in Training

2009-08-26T09:29:00.002-07:00

Ryker is my assistant in training. A couple weeks ago he started doing this and he'll tell me to sit so he can take my picture. He looks so professional!

That is some great concentration, it really looks like he's lining up his shot.

Mom's Birthday

2009-08-26T09:26:00.001-07:00

We had a great turn out for Mom's 50th Birthday. She was SO surprised, it was awesome!

Thank you for coming everyone!

Child of God

2009-08-24T19:28:00.004-07:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. You are a child of God. your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There's nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Marianne Williamson

This is out of a book I'm reading called "Nonviolent Communication"

What an amazing book and a beautiful quote.

It seems so easy for me to believe my niece Gracie has this light, look at her! I pray we can all let our lights shine bright.

Oregon09

2009-07-16T10:02:00.004-07:00

We went for a long ride one of the days and stopped here for fun. The girls did some actions shots for me.

Oregon09

2009-07-16T09:58:00.002-07:00

More of our hike.

Thank you for posing mom!

Daddy Daughter

Oregon09

2009-07-16T09:52:00.004-07:00

We took a nice hike up to this really great tree. The girls loved climbing on it and through it.

Ryker liked it too, as long as I was there. It made him a little nervous.

My beautiful parents!

We had a guide come along telling us what everything was. We got to taste some sour berries and some leaves that tasted like lemons. YUMMY!

Oregon09

2009-07-16T09:45:00.004-07:00

Grandma and Grandpa's Beach

Grandpa is flying, thats how hard the wind was blowing that day.

My sweet parents. They walk on the beach all the time, I'm so jealous.

Ryker was wet ALL the time. We went through 2 to 3 pants a day. If it weren't so cold I'd have let him run around naked the whole time to save on laundry :)

Kenzie and Kaiya always ready for a photo. Thank you girls since Brother won't let me take pictures of him anymore.

Oregon09

2009-07-16T09:35:00.004-07:00

TIDE POOLING AT SEAL ROCK

THESE TWO ARE SO MUCH FUN!! (KENZIE AND KAIYA)

THE WATER WAS THE LOWEST I'VE SEEN IN 10 YEARS SO WE GOT TO GO ALL THE WAY TO THE HUGE ROCKS

Art

2009-06-25T14:03:00.003-07:00

This is my latest creation :) I love it, how bout you?!

Thank you for sharing this Creation we call Earth.

The Mask

2009-06-20T10:07:00.004-07:00

Always a mask

Held in the slim hand whitely

Always she had a mask

before her face -

Truly the wrist

Holding it lightly

Fitted the task:

Sometimes however

Was there a shiver,

Fingertip quiver,

Ever so slightly -

Holding the mask?

For years and years and years

I wondered

But dared not ask

And then -

I blundered,

Looked behind the mask,

To find

Nothing -

She had no face.

She had become

Merely a hand

Holding a mask

With grace.

Author Unknown

I have been working on letting my mask down lately. What is really behind the Mask? My feelings, these feelings are what I have felt I had to hide. I'm learning to let people see how I really feel inside and this is the only way for the mask to disappear. Thank you friends and family for your help in accepting the parts of me that I have been hiding. I love you!

Daily Practice

2009-05-26T20:03:00.004-07:00

Photo by ME

"Spirituality isn't what comes over us in moments of divine rapture. It's the slow burn of daily practice, being kind to others when we are grumpy, constantly looking for the lesson, thinking of what we can improve, and all those difficult challenges we face every moment.
Today, keep taking baby steps towards becoming more tolerant, more communicative, and more generous. Slow and steady wins the race."

This is my goal this week :) Especially the Grumpy part! Sorry Brandon :)

Ryker Posing for Mommy :)

2009-05-26T17:17:00.003-07:00

I took pictures of my friend today and left my lighting stuff up. Ryker insisted I take some pictures of him, which is unusual for him lately. He was a little Cheeser :)

I recommend to click on the picture to see them full size :)

Kenzie Soccer!

2009-05-23T15:15:00.002-07:00

Kenzie has found her sport! SOCCER!! She is really good and has a great time. My favorite is her slide kick, she did 3 this game and I missed them because people were in front of her :( I had a lot of fun taking some action shots today at her last game. I'm excited for next season so I can take some more great shots. She is so much fun to watch, always doing cool kicks or falling because she's always right where the action is.

Red Path

2009-05-20T08:05:00.008-07:00

Thank you for

Walking The Good

Red Road

•May 19,

2009 • 4 Comments

The expression The Good Red Road originated in Native American tribes to represent one who is walking the road of balance, living right and following the rules of the Creator.

Some basic rules of the Road:

1. Search for yourself, by yourself. Do not allow others to make your path for you. It is your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.

2. Treat the guests in your home with much consideration. Serve them the best food, give them the best bed and treat them with respect and honor.

3. Do not take what is not yours. Whether from a person, a community, the wilderness or from a culture. It was not earned nor given. It is not yours. You cannot enjoy what it not yours.

4. Respect all things that are placed upon this Earth.

5. Rise with the sun to pray. Pray alone. Pray often. The Great Spirit will listen, if only you speak.

6. Honor other people’s thoughts, wishes and words. Never interrupt another or mock or mimic them. Allow each person the right to a freedom of opinion. Respect that opinion.

7. Never speak of others in a bad way. The negative energy that you put out into the universe will multiply when it returns to you.

8. All persons make mistakes. No matter how small or how large the mistake is, it can still be forgiven.

9. Bad thoughts cause illness of the spirit, the mind and the body. Keep

bad thoughts at bay. Practice optimism.

10. Nature is not for us, it is a part of us. Treat all natural beings as members of your family.

11. Children are the seeds of our future. Plant love in their hearts and water them with wisdom and life’s lessons. When they are grown, allow them find their own place.

12. Keep yourself balanced. Your Mental self, Spiritual Self, Emotional Self and Physical self all need to be strong, pure and healthy. Work out the body, to strengthen the mind. Grow rich in spirit to cure emotional ails.

13. Make conscious decisions as to who you will be and how you will react. Be responsible for your own actions.

14. Treat the elders as special gems – their wisdom will shine.

15. Be true to yourself first.

I love that I found this here. I actually go to a Native American Healing Circle and this, for the most part, is what it is based on. How beautiful :) Brandon recently got me a license plate "Red Path", which is what our Healing Circle calls it. I am so grateful that I have been introduced to the Red Path because it has changed my inner world and I feel my outer world is benefitting also. I love you all!!!

I created this for my Teacher David Hamblin. It represents our Healing Circle. The creator is the flame in the center and we are all the flames looking to Him, the Creator, for direction and love. The red is for the Red Path.

TOO CUTE!!

2009-05-20T07:55:00.001-07:00

Cheese!

Just too cute not to share! My sweet niece Gracie :) I love you!

LOVIN' the Outdoors!

2009-05-14T13:02:00.004-07:00

Ryker and I have been lovin' this wonderful weather! I love being outside with him because he is so calm and sweet :) Warm days consist of going to the park to swing, going to the KOA pond to throw rocks in the water, playing with sidewalk chalk (he throws and breaks, I color), and playing with water out back. We still have to watch Shrek at least once a day, sometimes twice. Ryker loves all the birds, when they fly away he says, "where'd the bird go? gby bird." SO CUTE!

Brandon has been working so hard lately so anytime Ryker gets with dad, its ALL DAD. Mother's day I asked Brandon to walk with me to the river so he could see how much Ryker loves throwing rocks. It's our job as the parents to gather him rocks, so we stay really busy.

The Present is a Gift

2009-04-23T10:30:00.000-07:00

The Present is a Gift

How are you feeling today?

It’s great to see you.

I yearn to feel your love

I know you can’t wait to see me again

Sometime on the other side

Here I am now

The Present is a gift

A gift we often forget

Open it now and you will see,

Here we are, in eternity

It’s not tomorrow or next year

It here, now, for you and me

Thank you for spending a moment with me

This moment will last forever

I am grateful for all the moments we share

And pray for more to come

I love you

2009-04-20T13:26:00.004-07:00

"Loving a Child is a circular business. The more you give, the more you get, the more you get, the more you give." Penelope Leach

It's been awhile since Brandon has thrown Ryker around. Ryker was pretty hesitant to trust he wasn't going to fall, but once he did it a few times he had a blast! Brandon used to do this with Kenzie, bet she wishes she could get thrown around.

Dad and Ryker Swingin'

2009-04-16T13:40:00.002-07:00

We had some fun the other day with the nice weather :) Ryker loves to swing. He has me do an under-dog then tells me to go swing and shortly after I get to swinging its time to underdog Ryker again. It's really fun for Ryker, very tiring for mommy :) It's worth it to see him laugh!

Ryker Speaks

2009-04-04T12:51:00.002-07:00

So Ryker has taken off with talking. It is so so cute :) My favorite is Plaze, meaning please. A new one that is just wonderful to me is he calls dogs Gods. He asked Brandon and me for a hot God for lunch today. I have been trying to get Ryker so say this on video so that everyone can hear, but he stops saying it every time I get my camera out. Kids are great entertainment :)

Ryker LOVES Trucks!

2009-04-01T08:42:00.003-07:00

Ryker Loves TRUCKS. Trucks, trucks, trucks all day long. Here is a video of him imitating monster trucks. What a boy!

I'm Back !!

2009-03-27T16:57:00.002-07:00

Ending my silence started a huge shift in me and I'm still adjusting to the shift. I forgot about my blog in the process.

I wish I could share all that has gone on within and outside of me, but I've decided that its best to stay silent about these things until a moment arises to share. I tell people things I learned and am learning, but only when I'm inspired to.

I'm just so grateful for these wonderful insights and blessings.

Something I want to share. . . .

My wonderful friend Laura did a beautiful thing for me for my birthday. She asked some of my family and friends to write a letter to me telling me wonderful things about me. Isn't that the sweetest thing you have ever heard? She gave me the gift late and I was on my silence. She handed me this book she put together and I opened it and started reading. WOW. I cried through the whole thing. I couldn't say anything, just cried. I fell so lucky to have a friend so in tune with me to know that this is the perfect gift for me at this time in my life. Thank you Laura. Thank you for the beautiful notes . . . Geena, Cami, Christian, Caleb, Lindsie, Josh, Treyce, Naddy, MOM, Rick, Chrissie-tina, Dad Rod and Mom Linda, Missy.

I think I'm going to start something from this experience. We'll see :) Love you all!!!

Ending my Silence of 9 days

2009-03-06T17:54:00.003-07:00

Looks like I'll be ending my silence tomorrow :) Time to take what I've learned and apply it to my talking life. Its so much easier to be silent and apply them because I'm more aware while I'm silent. I'm afraid that as soon as I speak my mind will be a tornado again and I'll have forgotten all of it. Even though I'm afraid of this, I'm pretty sure it won't happen. I'm going to be setting aside at least one day a week for silence. I want to keep these lessons fresh. Silence is a great meditation, a constant prayer.

I know that taking a Vow of Silence is not something everyone can fit into their lives. I am lucky to have the freedom to have done this. I recommend trying this if you can. Even for a few hours. Silence is a gift we hardly ever realize we have.

I can't wait till I feel I need this again :)

Day 7

2009-03-04T13:55:00.002-07:00

What a day. I'm really being tested today. Ryker woke up on the wrong side of the bed today and I am happy I am silent because he has gotten on my last nerve and I'm afraid I would have been yelling ALL DAY. He has done so great during this whole Silence thing, I guess my patience needed testing. I just know that when he is in this type of mood, its best not to let him affect me so I've been praying for patience. SHEESH.

Oh and through Yoga I've learned that when they say take a deep breath and count to 10, you know when you are about to lose it, it's best if the deep breath you are taking lasts the whole 10 seconds and a whole 10 seconds on the way out. Try it for longer if you can. When I'm that upset that I need to count to ten and I take the 10 count breath, I about pass out from the relief I get afterwards :)

Here is a happy picture of Ryker and I from last night. I need the reminder of how much fun we have together :) Yay for nap time!!!!!

Day5

2009-03-02T11:23:00.002-07:00

I had someone ask me how I communicate with Ryker while I'm silent. Well, luckily we taught him sign language. The first two days were great, it was just Ryker and I and he soon realized that he had to pay attention to me more to know what Mom wanted to say. We had a great time. I had to play more with him. I had to let go of my controls over what I wanted us to do and let him decide because its just way too hard to explain to a 20 month old what you want instead of what he wants with only a few signs. Amazingly enough, I still get all the things I need to get done doing everything he wants to do. If I do what he wants first, he gives me a break. Before this Silence I wanted to get my stuff out of the way first so that I have time to hang out with him. SILLY MOMMY :) He has taught me so much about myself.

It was much harder to communicate with Ryker when dad was around this weekend. He is a daddies boy and so when daddy is around, mommy isn't anymore. I pretty much had to accept that dad can handle the communication without me. Daddy did great :) Last night we were hanging out, the three of us, and Ryker kept calling me into the room he was in with a kiss waiting for me. It was too cute!

I think that Ryker is to a point now that he misses my speaking. I don't think my not speaking can do more harm than the good that it has brought. I don't see this Silence lasting too much longer. It has been a true blessing and I know I will know when to end it.

Love to all!! :)

Update on my Silence

2009-02-28T11:13:00.003-07:00

Its been a couple days now. I want to tell you how wonderful and amazing this has been, but words will give it no justice. I will tell you that my prayers are getting answered and I have experienced clarity on a level I have not experienced before. Thank you for your Love and Support :)

MY SILENCE

2009-02-24T12:39:00.003-07:00

Its my birthday! I'm 28 :)

Over the past week or so I've been preparing for Silence. For many reasons I've decided to take a Vow of Silence. I have no limit, just a beginning. I am starting my Silence Thursday February 26th. To me, it is like a fast. I will be praying for answers and learning the most I can from the experience. Like I said before, I don't plan an end, I'm sure I will know when I have gotten what I need to receive from this.

Mostly my silence means No speaking. I will have to communicate in other ways, but I am going to try to limit this also. I've been really nervous about what others will think of this, but because of that fear I know that's why I need to do it.

As children and as adults I believe we learn to be silent, by hiding our true selves to fit in with the world or to protect ourselves or others. This silence I will be taking, I take in prayer and with faith and in hopes to find all the parts of me that I have forced into silence out of fear.

A part of me thinks this is really silly and I can't believe I actually think I'll get anything good out of Silence, but I've already learned so much just by studying other people's silence. I pray I will be open to finding what I am searching for.

I just wanted to share with everyone what I am about to do. I am really excited, nervous and hopeful.

Love You All !! !!

Here are a couple links to some other people that have experienced Silence :

Silence Video

My Vow Of Silence

Time to get rid of the Binky

2009-02-17T21:55:00.005-07:00

Ryker has really taken off with talking lately :) One problem, he talks with his binky in his mouth and its hard to understand. Time to get rid of the binky :) My intelligent sister JoAnna had told me months ago that she had to get creative with the removal of the binky. She cut the tips of the binkies off so her little one could no longer suck. I had heard other great advise on the subject but this really seemed to be the best way for my little Ryker.

I sat him down and explained to him that we were proud of him for learning more words, but it has been really hard for us to understand him. I told him what a big boy he is and explained I was going to cut his binkies. I cut the binkies as he stared at me with disbelief. After I was done I told him ALL GONE. He repeated this phrase for 10 minutes. Here is a little clip :)

He's done really well since. I've kept the remains so that whenever he asks for it I can show him ALL GONE. I am surprised at how well he adjusts, I am always nervous about things of this nature, but he continues to show me how big he is :)

Look at the Good, Be grateful for the Blessings

2009-02-14T19:31:00.002-07:00

It's all good, we say. And yet, in truth, our tendency is to first look at the bad, isn't it? Think about it, if you saw a bad movie, or had terrible service in a restaurant, or someone did something to you that you didn't like, how many people would you tell? Research shows you'd tell about 35 people. Good news? This is usually spread to far fewer people.

Today, focus on what's right, what's good in life. The closer you look, the more you'll find what you love.

Kabbalah Tune-up

I have been noticing this about myself lately. I try to come up with something to talk about, with someone I may not be comfortable with right at first, and the first thing I can think of is a complaint. I even do this with close friends and family. By the time I notice what I'm doing I'm half way through it and feel so awful. This is such a good thing for me to work on :)

I've been told when we receive blessings and answers to prayers that we must be grateful for these blessings for them to continue to come to us. I've also been realizing how much I take for granted. When I notice a prayer being answered it feels so good to take that second to say Thank you. Its been so Great!!

Creative time

2009-02-02T16:57:00.005-07:00

It must be creative time for me. I can't get myself away from my computer :)

A little bit about what I did with this. . .

I use a program called Photoshop CS3. It allows you to bring in multiple pictures and combine them together in many different ways. This piece has 23 layers which is either photos, textures or other techniques all stacked and blended. I know, its probably still foreign to most. It took me bout two hours to complete, a whole Ryker nap.

Here are some of the pictures used:

Photoshop Fun

2009-02-01T00:27:00.002-07:00

Hope you don't mind Natalie :) Your little princess has been transformed.

More HDR

2009-01-30T16:03:00.004-07:00

Look at the amazing details on this one. I'm in love! HDR is too much fun for me :)

HDR fun

2009-01-29T15:38:00.003-07:00

Ryker and I went for a ride up the canyon today, he slept and I had fun :)

I just got a new program that combines photos to keep all the details. I love it, its so amazing!! This process is called HDR. Still learning the tricks, not too bad for my first one!

Ryker Playing With Tractor

2009-01-29T10:16:00.002-07:00

Just wanted you to see him playing, talking and singing. He's so much fun these days :)

Ryker Eating

2009-01-29T10:13:00.001-07:00

Ryker won't let us feed him anymore. He's so good at getting the food in his mouth, its amazing.

Ryker Kicking Ball

2009-01-29T10:08:00.002-07:00

Just want to post a couple videos of Ryker so Grandma and Grandpa Oregon can see what he's up to lately :)

PAINTING

2009-01-19T14:25:00.003-07:00

So, I decided to have a painting party with Ryker today. I asked Brandon if he thought Ryker would like to and I got the Thumbs up, but a warning of the mess. I prepared well and we had a blast. Only one problem, I just used my Tole Painting paints and the blue paint stained his skin. Now he looks like he's got bruises all over, good thing I took pictures to prove we were painting!! When I went to get my camera he put a bit in his mouth, and I came in right when he was about to run his hands through his hair, luckily I stopped him. That would have been a pain.This was probably his favorite part. For some reason he LOVES to play with the water in the sink. Like I said it came off pretty good, just left a few stains.

The Little Soul and The Sun

2009-01-16T09:44:00.003-07:00

My friend Rachel has this link on her blog and I read the story and want to share it with all. It is SO beautiful and I would love for everyone to read it too. It really puts life into perspective and softened my heart. I love you all!!!

The Little Soul and The Sun

This is an art piece that I did. The middle light represents Christ and all the others are all of us.

Child in Prayer

2009-01-13T14:32:00.003-07:00

Child in Prayer

She lies here with hope and wonder

Confusion ceases, peace enters

Praying for answers, she waits

Warmth fills her heart

LOVE, the answer we all desire

So simple, yet so tangled

Her heart softens and she sees

So much love she already tastes

Please God help me to hold this truth

Share it with all, she promises

A child I am still, let me always be

In this breath, I return to Thee

Light of the Creator

2009-01-13T14:18:00.002-07:00

The light of the Creator is not somewhere up in the sky. Sparks of the Light are everywhere - in every person, in every tree, and even in seemingly lifeless inanimate objects.

Got this in a Kabbalah daily Tune-up. I pray I can see this Light in everything. Seems like we need to be able to see it in ourselves before we can see it everywhere else.

Laticia

2009-01-08T12:42:00.002-07:00

I wrote this poem in memory of Brandon's sister Laticia for Glo, her mother. I love you Glo! :) Glo loves angels and we found this statue of this angel on our trip to California. Isn't she so amazing?!? I just think it's so beautiful :)

Green Drink

2009-01-07T11:26:00.005-07:00

My good friend Rachel eats only RAW food. Pretty crazy, I know :) Ha ha, her food is delicious :) I had seen her drinking this drink she calls Green Drink and tried it and actually loved it. In my small blender I mix 3 banana's, a handful and a half of frozen grapes, plus whatever other handful of frozen fruit I feel like that day (strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, kiwi, pineapple), and lastly baby spinach usually 3 handfuls or more. (Rachel just does Strawberries, but I like variety) So I make this every morning now and we all love it. Its my breakfast. Ryker loves it so much he gets mad in the morning if I haven't made it by 10. He helps me put all the ingredients in the blender and pushes the buttons. The cutest part to me is his little green mustache he gets! It's a great way to start off our day :)

MY MOM LINDA WON THE JACK POT ON CHRISTMAS!!!!

2008-12-27T17:30:00.004-07:00

So my parents in Oregon decided to take a trip down to their favorite Casino for Christmas. I know, you may be thinking, "what a strange thing to do on Christmas" that's what I was thinking! UNTIL, I got a call telling me that Linda had hit the Jackpot. She won a 08 Dodge Viper!!!

Now there is always a catch when winning something, RIGHT?!? right. The car is worth over $80,000, but you have to pay the taxes on it before you can take it home. I have no idea how much that would be, but I'm pretty sure it would be alot. Anyway, they are negotiating something with the dealer and are still going to get a lot of money!! I'm so happy for you guys :) I think that is so great. I guess my sister Chrissie talked to them before this happened and she told my dad to give Linda her luck, so Chrissie is taking partial credit for this win. The funniest thing about this is Linda is always telling us how she wins 100 here or 50 there or sometimes more on PENNY slots. She's movin' on up. Maybe you should quit while you are ahead!!!

Pictures for Grandpa

2008-12-27T09:43:00.004-07:00

We took these pictures for Grandpa Steve. McClain(with the really blonde hair) is his son Steven's little girl and my mom wanted to surprise him with a photo with all his grandkids.

Looks like the Photo shoot went pretty well doesn't it :)

This is how it actually was. What an experence it is to get 3 kids under 18months to behave and look in the same general direction. The picture up top is actually 3 different pictures combined. Whenever McClain was being good, Ryker was throwing a fit and vise versa. Thank you Photoshop! Look how awesome Kenzie is :)

I LOVE this picture. Isn't it cute when kids pose themselves :)

This is Gracie in a nutshell! She had this face or her laughing face the whole time.

So Sweet!!

Bradford Christmas Party

2008-12-27T09:31:00.003-07:00

Santa Claus came to visit our party and picked Kenzie to lead us in song. She seemed to be having fun, but was a bit embarrassed :) Its really weird because I remember being her age at the Bradford Christmas parties and all my cousins, and now there are all these kids there that are ours now. Its really too much for me to comprehend.

I just think Gracie is the funniest baby. She's so content with everything, its so nice. She just sits there and checks everything out with no fears.

Look how tall she is. She is getting way to old, way too fast. Where's that cute little cuddle bug that was always so so sweet? Actually, she's still cuddly and sweet, just grown up.

Ryker really surprised me with Santa. I thought I'd be holding him, standing up, while he was screaming bloody murder, but he was really calm. It made it fun :)

Speak Your Truth, no one else can

2008-12-22T11:26:00.002-07:00

"Fear of speaking or hearing the truth is the biggest stumbling block we face in our desire to experience genuinely fulfilling, honest and loving relationships. When we hold something back, that something seperates us from the other person. If were not open to hearing the words of others without reacting or taking them personally, we have distanced ourselves from those individuals.

It's always easier to tell people what they want to hear. It's often more comfortable to agree with someone, even if we disagree in our hearts. And since it can be equally frightening to confront painful truths about our own selves, our friends and family may feel compelled to tell us only what we want to hear.

When you need to tell the truth, have the courage to open your heart as well as your mouth. And when you need to hear the truth, have the strenth to open your ears and close your mouth."

I was sent this by my Daily Kabbalah tune up. Its so funny because this is exactly what I have been learning about since February. Its been really scary to me to notice how much I don't speak my truth. It comes up in my throat and I swallow it down, either because I'm afraid of what the other person will think or will feel by what I have to say. I've learned that as long as my heart is soft when I speak my truth and I'm not trying to prove anything then it is not my responsibility what the other person thinks or feels. Because I've spent my whole life afraid, I have a long ways to go with this. I just keep a prayer in my heart that I can have the faith that I will say what needs to be said at the appropriate time and I will have forgiveness for myself and for others when this doesn't happen from the heart.

I love you All!!! xoxo

More pictures from California

2008-12-17T11:49:00.003-07:00

Travis, Syd and Daemon

We went to a Christmas Carnival. It was funny because they had light posts all around that were blowing out fake snow. Wouldn't that be nice :)

More.....

2008-12-17T11:43:00.001-07:00

She's always got this look on her face, looks just like her mom always does :)

I think this is so cute! It's the only way we could get him to sit there.

Some close-ups of Kenz

2008-12-15T14:18:00.004-07:00

Wow, this one is too much for me. She looks way too old. Brandon was looking at these pictures and saying that she is so beautiful because she got the best genes of both of her parents, the perfect mix :)

I love this one, even though her hair is in her eyes. This one will drive my mom NUTS!!! ha ha

There's daddies little girl. This would melt his heart :)

This is so Kenzie. This is how I can tell her and Ryker are brother and sister, they are both such thinkers. I love when I see Kenzie doing this pose for real. It reminds me of my sister and I laying on the tramp watching the clouds go by.