Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Me



About 5 years ago Brandon and I were laying under the stars up in the mountains and talking about how we could both see that one day we would have to let go of everything so we could gain something that we really didn’t understand at the time. We saw it happening but had no idea how, when or if we really could do it.

Two and a half years ago our marriage was coming to an end. We had given all we could to the relationship up to that point and it wasn’t working out for us. Brandon was brave and expressed to me that he thought we were done unless we could find something or someone who could help us. I was against going to a counselor because of a bad experience I had had before and felt like it was hopeless for us.

About a week later I was told about a group of people getting together and being helped by a medicine man. I went to this healing circle the next week and Brandon and I have been on an amazing journey ever since. I have been attending this healing circle weekly ever since. I have had a true transformation of spirit and am so grateful I was led to this fulfilling path.

I was very lost, but through walking the Red Path to the Creator I have gained a relationship with Jesus Christ through repentance and forgiveness. I have received a relationship with my Divine Mother through mercy, love and acceptance. I have gained a relationship with Heavenly Father through faith and letting go.

These blessings didn’t come easy to me. The first year and a half on this path I had to look deeply into myself. I found first that it is a lot easier to look at your spouse and point fingers than to see your own part in the struggle of the relationship. The main goal of the Red Path is for a couple to become One through Jesus Christ and to do this you can’t blame, you have to take responsibility and in turn it shines the light on your partner to show them their part in it as well.

I decided on my own that I needed to take a Vow of Silence and it was at this point that things really shifted for me in my relationship with Brandon. I was forced to see that without my defenses and my negative comments towards my husband we were both much happier and I saw clearly I did not want to continue having that negative interaction with Brandon anymore. It was and still is at times a very hard thing to change; I have to be constantly aware of my words and how they affect other people around me.

There are many roadblocks I am carrying in my spirit from my childhood and every week something would come up for me to see and the healing circle would then help me to repent and come unto Jesus Christ. What I am repenting of is all the lies I believe about myself that hold me back from being One with Brandon and Jesus.

About a year ago Brandon and I had a very Spiritual experience and our lives have been an adventure ever since. We were shown how beautiful and strong our relationship, our Oneness, is with each other underneath all the lies we believe. We decided on that day that we were truly ready to be One with each other through Jesus Christ.

Soon after this beautiful experience and the commitment we made Brandon lost his job. Our whole marriage, before this point, I had only experienced fear when it came to money and when he lost his job I felt assured that through Faith we would be taken care of. It was time for us to start letting go. We were both working hard towards a life and marriage we thought we were supposed to have, the perfect marriage with a house, two cars, etc you know the story and were realizing that we had to really get down to what we really want for us, not what we thought everyone else would approve of us having.

We had many miracles happen soon after this where it was as if money was falling from the sky to us. Brandon was going from working 40 to 60 hour work weeks to being home with Ryker and I practically all the time. Ryker and I were in heaven. It was really a blessing to Ryker, he is a daddies boy and it brought joy to him to have his daddy home with him.

We were doing really well in the Faith for a few months and things were really coming to us in miracles and we were so excited. When my beautiful sister JoAnna and her sweet daughter Kayla died in a car accident my faith in my future left me. I spent the next couple months avoiding my feelings about my sister by concentrating on how little money we had and how we were bound to lose it all.

Christmas came and it was getting harder for us to pay our bills and we quickly found ourselves in a really hard place. We received notice the end of January that we would be evicted February 5th and we were really blessed with another spiritual experience this time in a Native American Sweat Lodge Ceremony. I gained some closure with my sister JoAnna and was told my faith would return and that we were going to be taken care of.

Many of our friends offered us help and we had beds to sleep in for the next 6 weeks. It was a very fun and interesting time for us to be living out of suitcases and being taken care of by our friends. We got rid of a lot of our stuff and put the rest in a storage unit. I had to decide every day that Brandon, Ryker and MacKenzie were enough for me. It was very hard but everyday that I decided this I became stronger in my faith and my relationship with my little family grew deeper. We feel really grateful for all the friends we have that reached out to us through this really hard time.

We moved into a place with a friend of ours but soon realized it wasn’t a good place for us to live and had to find a new place fast. We were blessed to have my brother Rick and our friends Matt and Laura offer a place for us to live. We had lived with our friends Matt and Laura before and knew it would be an easier transition for Ryker. We also knew that we could live there for a long period of time and felt some stability in that fact. Thank you Matt and Laura for taking us in as family and loving us so much!

The week we moved into the Jones’ home I found out I was pregnant. We had been trying to get pregnant for almost two years and felt so blessed to have a little one on the way. Our finances were still lacking, but little miracles were still happening and showing me I was not alone. I was learning how to really pray and have a relationship with God. I had many experiences where I felt my sister JoAnna helping me on the other side through my struggles and my spiritual manifestations were strong and increasing my Faith.

When you start losing things you thought you could never live without you start getting a sense of true gratitude deep in your heart. My pregnancy brought many beautiful gifts. I felt a closeness with Ryker I had struggled with before, parts of our relationship were being healed. Brandon and his father came together in new and wonderful way, and I was getting a new sense of Forgiveness I had never understood before.

At 11 weeks I was showing signs of losing the baby. Brandon and I were very sad but had clarity enough to know to pray together and we decided to pray for the gift of acceptance. What a wonderful gift acceptance is. Through this gift we were able to see the good and the gifts in losing our child.

A month before I got pregnant with this child I had a spiritual experience where I spoke with a future child of mine and he prepared me for this moment. I hadn’t quite understood it until it was happening for real but I had been told I would lose this baby and he told me his name was Christian Clayne Beagley. He was named after Brandon’s father because he was coming to earth to bring Brandon and his father together which is a beautiful gift that came true while I was pregnant with him.

Through prayer Brandon and I made it through this hard time and became strong. We had seen a choice we could make to either become stronger from this experience or grow apart and we were blessed to be clear enough to make that choice to become strong. The experience I had of the process of losing the baby was very spiritual and I felt empowered knowing I had made it through by relying on Jesus Christ.

There are so many more things that have happened in the span of these past few years that I could probably write a book, but I thought I would share with my loved ones the highlights of these years so that you may all have a better understanding of where I am physically, emotionally and mostly spiritually.

Before I found this path I was lost Spiritually. I had gotten to a point where I questioned everything I grew up believing and was left with nothing but anger and hatred. I’m so grateful I was led in a direction that I could mend these beliefs and grow strong in Faith, Love, Understanding, Compassion and have a relationship with Spirit. I am becoming whole and finding Joy in my life.

I LOVE. I love more than I ever knew possible. I feel loved. I feel God’s love and when I am feeling God’s love there is nothing lacking for me no matter how little I have physically. The more I repent and forgive, the closer my relationship is with God and everyone I love. It is so beautiful. I’ve attempted to put down in words what I have received, but the happiness, joy and love I have experienced have no words, only a smile and a warmness in my heart.

Thank you Divine Mother for your mercy, forgiveness and love. Thank you Father for your forgiveness, inspiration and Grace. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice, truth, healing and Love. Thank you ancestors and angels for helping me everyday. Thank you Brandon for choosing me everyday and showing me how to be a better me. Thank you Red Path and Red Path Family for giving me all these wonderful gifts. Thank you parents for giving me the gift of Life and thank you for doing your best. Thank you Ryker and Kenzie for teaching me and helping me heal. Thank you family and friends for loving me where you can. Thank you strangers for coming here to learn with me.

I love you all through Jesus Christ.

Love,

DeLynn Beagley

5 comments:

Glo said...

Oh, Delynn, thank you so much for sharing your beautiful life with me. You are truly an amazing and inspirational example. I love you more than I could ever imagine. Thank you for teaching me and loving me. There is never a moment that I do not feel gratitude for having you, brandon, and your amazing children in my life and heart.

The Beagley's said...

Thank you Glo. I feel just as lucky to have you and Jeff in our lives. We would not have made it through these past couple of years without you two helping us and supporting us. I love you!!!

Christa said...

I'm so proud of you for sharing that on your blog. What a brave woman you are! Can't wait to hear more of your insights and wisdome. I love you dear friend!

Melissa said...

I'm glad I got to meet you. Thank you for sharing your story with me and helping me on my journey. I had such an inspirational weekend. Christa is fantastic and her friends are the most loving people I've ever met. ;)

Trevor Cobb said...

this really lifted my spirits today Delynn. i am touched by your words about your spiritual re-birth. it mustn't have been an easy thing to take a vow of silence like that. love you guys.

AMAZING VIDEO!!

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